hey God, can I trust you?

I am going to be honest here,

 I mostly trust myself, and as full of myself,

 I think most of us are like this. 

Granted there are some of you out there that are very trusting of others, 

but for rest of us are naturally self-reliant?

 I don't know. 

But I do wonder why this is? 

You might be thinking that the reason you trust yourself is because others have let you down or maybe because we live in a corrupted screwed ass society. I don't really know what is it but for some reason,

 we just don't trust others easily.

Sometimes in fact, God, the One who is perfectly trustworthy, 

is the one we have the hardest time trusting.

 Are you like me and often make decisions on your own without even consulting Him? Well, I know I do. It is easy for me to give people lip service and tell them that I am praying about my future of a decision, but often many times, I do not do it. Often times I revert to the trust I have for myself and for what I think is the best decision. When faced with a situation, I think about it and make the decision, but I never first ask God if it’s what He wants me to do. 

* Btw, I'm not being god-ish or what, I am NOT a christian.

As I write this I realize how cheesy this sounds. 

I realize that it sounds too easy. 

Like I am giving the typical religious answer here. (which I just fake it out)

 But I wonder, why does it sound cheesy to trust in God? 

And I realize at this moment I don’t often do this. I don’t ever really ask God what to do. I like to think I do, but I don’t. Maybe because what God wants me to do is hard, or maybe it is because it is something that I don’t want to do.

I don't know.

But what I do know is that I have a hard time trusting people.